Why do we follow social norms when they don’t make any sense?

thoughtsofjoyce:

So today someone told me that if I e-mailed someone back, then I would be opening a ‘door’ that would sound like I regret whatever I said in my former email. Don’t get any ideas – you don’t need to know the details. The point is, all I wanted to do was make sure the air was clear, after I found out someone didn’t read me carefully enough.

But it got me thinking – why are there social ‘rules’ about what is hidden between the lines? Why can’t people be real and just say what they are thinking, right? Politeness bothers me this way, when it gets political. I know it’s necessary to keep us all being friends, but gee, sometimes it’s necessary.

Also, I hate shaking hands. Why do we have to do that? I once upset someone veeeery much because I wouldn’t shake their hand. But WHY? Why is that the deciding factor of whether or not you like me, or whether or not we can be on good terms? Maybe I don’t like germs ok?

And why do people ask me the same question more than once? Why would I not say what I mean the first time, and why would anyone not believe me?

Who makes these rules? And why do we feel pressure to follow them? Why can’t we just say what we mean and have people believe what we actually say and mean? And how come when you are the person that makes a point-blank statement, people find that ‘rude’ and ‘off-putting’? Are they saying they would rather me not be real with them? I guess there is always the option of not saying anything at all 🙂 Which is a very effective strategy 🙂 You can say a lot without saying much.